You’ve had this brilliant idea for a novel rattling around in your head for years, but the thought of actually writing it feels like trying to herd cats while riding a unicycle. Enter the ghostwriter, that magical creature who can take your brainchild and turn it into a polished manuscript without you breaking a sweat.
And the unicycle and cats will be grateful.
But finding the right fiction ghostwriter? That’s where things get trickier than a plot twist in a M. Night Shyamalan movie. Let’s dive into the wild world of ghostwriting, with some real-life examples, a sprinkle of humor, and a dash of sarcasm to keep it spicy. Buckle up, Bucko.
First things first, let’s talk about what a fiction ghostwriter does. They’re not just some hired pen who slaps words on a page. A good ghostwriter slips into your voice like a chameleon at a color convention. They capture your story’s vibe while making the prose sing.
A ghostwriter is part therapist, part storyteller, and part caffeine-fueled word machine. You’re not just hiring someone to write; you’re hiring someone to get you. Sounds simple, right? It’s about as simple as assembling IKEA furniture without the instructions.
Start by figuring out what kind of ghostwriter you need. Fiction is a broad church, and not every ghostwriter is cut out for every genre. If you’re dreaming up a sweeping fantasy epic with dragons and cursed amulets, you don’t want someone who’s spent their career churning out cozy mysteries about knitting grannies solving crimes.
I knew a woman, let’s call her Sarah, who had an idea for a gritty crime thriller. She told the story to a ghostwriter who’d mostly written romance novels. The result? Her hard-boiled detective spent half the book mooning over his ex instead of chasing the serial killer. It was like watching a noir film get hijacked by a Hallmark channel script. Lesson learned: match the ghostwriter’s expertise to your genre.
Where do you even find these elusive ghostwriters? The internet is your oyster, but it’s also a cesspool of wannabes and hacks. Freelancer platforms like Reedsy, Upwork, and Fiverr are popular starting points, but they’re a mixed bag. You’ll find pros with glowing reviews right next to folks who think “show, don’t tell” is advice for a magic trick.
Reedsy, for instance, curates professionals with solid credentials, which is great unless you’re on a shoestring budget. Upwork has a wider range, but you’ll need to wade through profiles that scream “I wrote my cousin’s blog post once!” to find the gems. Fiverr? It’s like playing literary roulette — sometimes you hit the jackpot, sometimes you get a story that reads like it was translated from Klingon.
Another issue with freelancer websites is: Who has responsibility? If you have a problem with that writer, who is in charge who can get the matter resolved? What’s to prevent that writer from walking off with your money?
Personal referrals can be gold. I knew a guy who found his ghostwriter through a writing group. The writer had penned a few self-published sci-fi novels and nailed my friend’s vision for a dystopian saga. They clicked perfectly, and the book spent weeks on Amazon’s best-seller list. Ask around in writing communities, like local workshops or online forums like Reddit’s r/Writing.
Once you’ve got a shortlist, it’s time to play detective. Check their portfolio like you’re Sherlock Holmes sniffing out clues. A good ghostwriter will have samples that show range, voice, and storytelling chops. If their samples read like a technical manual for assembling a lawnmower, run for the hills.
I once knew an aspiring author, Jenna, who hired a ghostwriter with a stellar resume, except his experience was all with corporate white papers. Her fantasy novel came back sounding like a user guide for a magical sword. “Insert blade into enemy. Twist 90 degrees. Repeat as needed.” Hilarious? Yes. Marketable? Not so much.
Interviews are your next step. This isn’t just a job; it’s a partnership. You’re basically inviting someone into your creative soul. Ask about their process. Do they outline like a control freak or pants it like a free-spirited poet? How do they handle revisions? Will they fight you tooth and nail over your insistence that the dragon has to wear flip-flops?
A good ghostwriter listens, adapts, and doesn’t act like they’re doing you a favor by taking your money. Zoom calls or coffee chats (if you’re local) can reveal if they’re a dream collaborator or a diva who’ll ghost you faster than Casper.
Let’s talk money, because nothing says “welcome to the real world” like a ghostwriter’s invoice. Fees vary wildly, anywhere from $5,000 to $50,000 for a full-length novel, depending on experience and project scope. Cheap doesn’t always mean bad, but if someone’s offering to write your 80,000-word masterpiece for $500, they’re either a saint or a scam.
Expensive doesn’t guarantee quality either. I heard about an author who paid top dollar for a “celebrity” ghostwriter, only to get a draft so bland it could’ve been written by a spreadsheet. These days, you can get bland for free by trying to get an AI chatbot to write creatively.
Negotiate a clear contract upfront. It must include the target word or page count, deadlines, revisions, and payment milestones. If they balk at a contract, that’s a red flag bigger than a dragon’s wingspan.
My company, Ghostwriters Central, Inc., is a mid-priced service. You can find pricing info on the Rates page. Our writers are full-out professionals. You can easily find cheaper fiction manuscript writers but you won’t find better. Bottom line is this: Your fiction manuscript needs to be damn good or you won’t have a chance at publishing success. Of course, we’re happy to sign a non-disclosure agreement and a contract is required.
Now, let’s get to the juicy part: what happens if you pick the wrong ghostwriter? Oh, honey, it’s a horror show. Imagine hiring a technical writer for your steamy romance novel. Instead of sizzling chemistry, you get clinical descriptions like, “Subject A initiated physical contact with Subject B, resulting in elevated heart rates.”
Or picture a non-fiction ghostwriter tackling your sci-fi epic. Your intergalactic war becomes a dry history lesson, complete with footnotes about plasma cannons. Worse, a bad ghostwriter can miss deadlines, ignore your vision, or churn out prose so clunky it makes your high school essays look like Shakespeare. You’re left with a manuscript that’s about as useful as a paperweight. And you’ve spent money for this!
To avoid this nightmare, test the water with a small project. Hire them for a short story or a single chapter first. It’s like dipping your toe in the pool before diving in. If they nail it, great! If not, you’ve only wasted a little time and money, not your entire novel. Also, check their references.
A legit ghostwriter won’t mind you chatting with past clients, but bear in mind ghostwriters get hired to write in someone else’s name and they’re usually bound to silence about clients and their projects. That means you won’t have access to a lot of their work.
Don’t forget the intangibles. A great ghostwriter brings passion, not just skill. They should be as excited about your story as you are, not treating it like a side hustle between their day job and their true crime podcast. At my company, we match your requirements to the writer. That results in excitement and passion for the story.
Finally, trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. Ghostwriting requires a leap of faith, but it shouldn’t feel like jumping off a cliff blindfolded. Take your time, do your homework, and don’t settle for someone who doesn’t spark joy.
A good ghostwriter can make your novel soar; the wrong one can crash it harder than a meteor in a dinosaur movie. So, go forth, find your literary soulmate, and turn that idea into a book that’ll have readers begging for a sequel. Just don’t let your dragon wear flip-flops … unless that’s your thing.
The Lit Bitch 